Help Your Child Remember "You are Loved!"

It's the early weeks of the school year and the excitement and novelty is wearing off.  You might start hearing some comments like "I want to stay home with you," or "I don't want to go to school."  Little bits of the school day are revealed at odd times in the evening--sometimes sending a jolt of panic through the center of your chest.

"My teacher never calls on me when I raise my hand."  "When I got back from the bathroom everyone was doing a new assignment and I didn't know what to do."  "No one would play with me at recess."  "I didn't have time to eat my lunch."

You can't be with your child all the time any more, and that can be hard for her and for you.  Some children, and parents, have to be very brave to make it through each school day.  It's time to remind yourself that an appropriate amount of independence and successful, gradual, separation from you will help your son or daughter become more confident, with higher self-esteem.  However, as you ponder these theories, you still need a way to get both of you through the school day.

I don't have all the answers, but I do have some ideas.  Some books for children address this topic in an appealing, caring way.  I found the following books amazingly helpful:

The Invisible String, by Patrice Karst, describes in a touching simple way how we can be connected to each other by an invisible string of love, even when we are apart.  Two children are woken by a thunder storm and run to find their mother.  On each page the family explores how they are linked to different people they love.




The Kissing Hand, by Audrey Penn, stars a baby raccoon who doesn't want to go to school, but would rather stay home with his mommy and familiar toys.  His mother kisses the palm of his hand and tells him that if he puts his hand up to his cheek he will feel her love any time he wants.  The story is sweet, and concept easy to understand at almost any age.




Wemberly Worried, by Kevin Henkes, is about a little mouse who can't go anywhere without his special blanket.  His mother comes up with a creative solution so he can secretly take his blankie whereever he goes.

After the first week of school my youngest daughter and I read The Invisible String together.  We made red construction paper hearts, exchanged lipstick kisses imprinted on the hearts, and put them onto necklaces of string to wear the next day.  In this way we can carry a tangible symbol of love, that hopefully will carry us through until we can be together again.  Maybe some of you will see me with my "heart on a string" tomorrow in the office.



I would love to hear comments on book suggestions or ideas you have to help with separation anxiety, or other special traditions you have that help you feel closer when you have to be apart!  Maybe you can find some books about children and their fathers, too.  Good luck.

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